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Showing posts from May, 2019

musings on rose quartz

BloodMilk is releasing a special series of rose quartz jewels today. Rose Quartz has always resonated with me, though when prompted to explore my connections to it, I could not pinpoint anything beyond associations with my birthday and my grandma.  I know that RQ is symbolic of love, but I wasn't sure what else. BM's post and collection has led me to begin exploring my associations a little deeper. My immediate connections are as I said, my grandma. She loved pink and she loved roses, she loved jewelry and stones. She gave me a bracelet with large rose quartz stones on it one year, a bracelet that I have brought out numerous times to wear with me on days where I felt I needed her strength. 2018 marked the passage of ten years since her death, the bracelet broke during this year as well. I was devastated. I have always read that rose quartz is a birthstone for October as well, my second association with the stone. My closest friends have October birthdays as well, as does ...
A few weeks ago, I read Heavier than Heaven.  If you're unfamiliar, it's one of the better known biographies about Kurt Cobain.  The book left me in tears, a rare thing. Ever since, I've thought quite a bit about death, about how we impact people while we're alive, the things we do to make the world better, or worse. I'm not sure if it's because I also turned 30 last year and graduated from graduate school, or if, for the first time in my life, I'm free from school for the unforeseen future,  but i've been thinking a lot about death. Often times, at night when I lie down to bed, I am struck with a fear of death and loss.  Not only for myself, but especially for those around me and those I love.  I have always had a decent amount of anxiety surrounding the loss of a loved one, but it's becoming paralyzing. It's not only at night that my anxiety strikes either.  I find myself thinking more and more about aging, about life, the pros...