ugh.

 What would make me happy right now?


A new job.  A purpose.

A lack of anxiety.  

So many things.

I feel lost.  It's a new year.  It feels wrong.  

Sometimes it feels like failure.  I got this job I (kind of) wanted.  I should've known better than to try out of desperation.  But I guess part of me also thought maybe it would work out.  Maybe it would be a new calling.  Maybe it's because I went into knowing it wasn't the end goal?

I don't know, but I need out. 

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