Mabon reflections

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In a journal or notepad, answer these questions to the best of your ability: ”How am I calling in balance into my life? How can I be more balanced? What needs to be released in order to cultivate balance? What have I been growing in my garden of thoughts? How does this serve me?” 

 How am I calling in balance into my life?
Currently I don't feel like I am at all. I don't have any time off, I'm still broke despite working constantly. I'm forever tired and lately I've been feeling just down and sad. The state of the world is terrible and the state of my life isn't any better, at least financially which leads to no relaxation or downtime. I have no time for myself.

 How can I be more balanced?
I think by making myself a priority and trying to make time for myself even if that means making myself go to the gym. I'm also going to begin looking for other jobs as well.

How can I be more balanced?
I think exercise will help me deal a little bit better with my thoughts and emotions. I'm becoming bitter and I'm trying so hard not to. I really need to take time off for myself.

What needs to be released in order to cultivate balance?
I need to not feel guilty for not being able to make a living at the SPCA and potentially not staying there. I need to not feel guilty for having to take a job that may not be as fulfilling spiritually or doing as much good but that pays my bills for awhile and helps me live a more fruitful and stress free life so that maybe, eventually I can get back to animals.

What have I been growing in my garden of thoughts? How does this serve me?
I've been growing a lot of negativity and bitterness and I need to change that into positive action in order for it to serve me. Otherwise, it's just making me feel stressed and down and brewing more bitterness and an unwillingness to continue working my jobs at all. and I have to do that until I decide my future course.

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