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I am really struggling right now.

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 " I've been longing for the sea - some days I wake up and feel my mouth full of brine - feel like I could pull ribbons of seaweed from my throat. I want to collect shells and hold them up to my ear to hear waves thunder to the beat of my hearts blood in my ear - I want to forage for sea glass, I want to feel the comforting sinking of the sand on the shoreline beneath my feet. I want to wade out as far as I can and feel the water push my hair around my shoulders - I want to feel weightless."-Via Jess Schnabel, bloodmilk jewels. these words hit hard. Bloodmilk just released a collection of strands inspired by the sea, entitled "our hearts, lost at sea." The description above is in reference to the strand I chose, "dreaming of the sea," t hough I believe this strand chose me. This time of year, I'm usually itching for the beach, the ocean.  The piscine scent of sea weed, the briney ocean air lifting my spirits, carrying my thoughts to a place where t...
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 I've gained an inch in my waist and two inches in my hips.   I have not gained weight. I could chalk some of it up to being bloated, but I am discouraged. I am also invigorated.  It's the new year, is this not the time? We did 23 minutes of boxing today and I've eaten a fruit or vegetable(s) at each meal. the sugar is the hard part. I am going to do this. I am tired of feeling like a stranger in my body.  And I ain't gettin any younger.
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samhain reflections

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Astrological Samhain is coming up in a few days (November 7th).  In appropriate ritualistic fashion, I would like to reflect on some endings and beginnings this year I have experienced. This year, I turned 30 and I celebrated my first wedding anniversary (as you saw from the last post, both were just a few days ago!).  My thesis is nearly complete...just a little bit of style editing to do, and I will be graduating from graduate school this December.  Alex and I also moved to Richmond at the end of July and oh what a wonderful change. I feel so much less confined to the ridiculous social norms our society holds here.  I can walk outside with (gasp!) an arm covered in tattoos and a septum ring, in all black, and not get stared at like a freak. It's such a small thing, and in 2018, I'm sure some of you are surprised that it was a thing at all, but I can't begin to explain the comfort level I've felt in Richmond.  Though I've struggled to find a job that pay...
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