The chaos dies down, and quiet returns.
We had a nice, quiet holiday. Grief has sat heavy with me this year. I let myself cry alone Christmas morning for the first time in...I can't even remember, and it was a nice release.
My heart felt just a smidge lighter.
I called my dad on Christmas day, much too late. He was slurring his words and speaking nonsense. I should've known better than to call in the evening.
I got off the phone as quickly as I could, pretending to be mostly unbothered.
I wonder what it's like to have at least one parent who isn't an addict? I suppose that's a feeling I'll never experience.
I begin therapy January 17th and I'm quite looking forward to it. My chest has felt tight and balled up lately. I feel as if I'm moving through life in a vat of molasses, and I'm hoping to find some relief, maybe some more energy to do the things I want to do.
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