The chaos dies down, and quiet returns.

We had a nice, quiet holiday.  Grief has sat heavy with me this year.  I let myself cry alone Christmas morning for the first time in...I can't even remember, and it was a nice release.

My heart felt just a smidge lighter.

I called my dad on Christmas day, much too late.  He was slurring his words and speaking nonsense.  I should've known better than to call in the evening.

I got off the phone as quickly as I could, pretending to be mostly unbothered.

I wonder what it's like to have at least one parent who isn't an addict?  I suppose that's a feeling I'll never experience.

I begin therapy January 17th and I'm quite looking forward to it.  My chest has felt tight and balled up lately.  I feel as if I'm moving through life in a vat of molasses, and I'm hoping to find some relief, maybe some more energy to do the things I want to do.


yesterday, reading new books in new jammies with a new comforter!







a gorgeous December 25th sunrise.  Perks to always rising early.


the most delicious buche de noel from whisk.





 

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