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 Happy Christmas eve eve eve eve?

and almost yule!

Yesterday my dad told me he recently discovered he had hepatitis-c.

He says he has no idea where it came from (he doesn't have tattoos and as far as I know, he isn't shooting up heroin), and he seems pretty stressed about paying for the treatment.  He also told me something that may indicate that he has prostate cancer? But he didn't make a big deal out of it on the phone and I didn't really know what he was talking about until I got off the phone and googled what he told me (at least what I think he told me).

I have never really had a great relationship with my father.  He's an alcoholic and we didn't really get along when I lived at home because he's just an intense, moody, quiet person and being around him is like walking on eggshells. And of course, the drinking just ...well, you know.

It makes situations like this difficult for me because I do care about my dad despite, honestly, wishing for his death or absence for a long time.  

He had to get some front teeth pulled awhile back and has been trying to save for dental implants which are hella expensive because America.  And now he's stressed because any money he's saved has to go towards these new things.  He's been having issues with his trucks, also sucking his money away.

I find myself wishing there was something I could do and feeling like I have to choose between saving for my own desires and needs or giving what extra I have to this man, who, despite the pain he inflicted on me for years, raised me largely by himself and dedicated a decent bit of himself to doing so.  I won't say he did his best because I don't believe that's true, as imo, doing his best would have meant getting help for his addictions and mental illnesses, but he kept a roof over my head and food in my belly.

So, there's that.

I also find myself missing Mimi, but that's common for this time of year, and really, every single day. 

There's not a day that goes by that she doesn't make an appearance in my thoughts.  


In happier news, we adopted a new bunny from a rescue in Waynesboro.  Her name is Spice, and if I remember correctly, she's a mini lop! 

Upon checking, she is a Holland lop.

Anyway, she's super cute, has a little white spot on her nose.





In some other completely fuckin bonkers news, a serial killer has been discovered in Virginia, and not only Virginia, but fucking Harrisonburg!  Two bodies of women were discovered near the Lowe's where my dad used to work.  The man is in custody, but like, holy shit.
They've dubbed him "the shopping cart killer" because he apparently transported victims with a shopping cart.  


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