Paper Ghost: Musings of a Restless Girl

I feel like I only come here when I'm down. But usually happiness doesn't supply many eloquent thoughts? or some shit. I don't know. I feel outside of my own skin again.  I gained some weight back and though it isn't that much, I still feel awful about it and I feel disgusting. I feel as if this is my most stressful semester of school like...ever, and it's been impossible to find time to exercise, time to eat properly and cook healthy meals ( (I hate the word "meals," I have no idea why), much less log the calories I do consume.  I spend all of my time (trying to) sleep, doing school work, and working.  And I'm still broke anyway. I was super excited about beginning the grad school process and the prospect of earning my bachelor's in May and now I'm just over it all.  I'm exhausted. Even the things I enjoy seem like chores. I know going to the gym would help in a plethora of ways but I can't seem to find the energy or time to do s...

This is an attempt to start my day off with some positivity. I am grateful for the fact that I have fresh fall coffee to make this morning and that I have this lovely mug to put it in: I am grateful for the fact that I can wake up to the love of my life every day and go to sleep with him by my side every night. I am grateful to have my fat, fluffy, passive aggressive cat, and my chunky bunny. I am grateful that in two months I'll be leaving and moving onto better things. I am grateful that I have friends who care enough about me to drive hours to my house, despite not having seen me for over a year.  I am grateful for having been able to pay rent this month and to have gone on a vacation with my boylove, despite the fact that I was stressed about it.   I am grateful we have jobs and hopeful that we can pay our bills next month. I am grateful for Halloween  and friends who help out when we need it.  I am grateful that I've had the motiv...