" Perhaps you've spent a good portion of your life claiming that your word is bond. It mattered to you that people kept their word, and it mattered to you that you were perceived as someone who kept their word in turn. These kinds of verbal contracts and commitments were forms of intimacy. They allowed for a kind of emotional safety net when other forms of security seemed out of the picture. This past year has taught you a great deal about what intimacy is and what it is not. And, it'll come as no surprise to you that this month aims to further that theme with a heavy focus on — what else? — your vows. Most people have no idea the length and width of the vows you make them, but they are extensive, aren't they? You make a vow to your friends when they are in ill health. You make a vow that you will only buy eco-responsible creamer. You make a vow and, by goddess, you hate to break it. Scorpio, your word might be ironclad, but your spirit is water. Your spirit, despi...
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peel the scars from off my back, I don't need them anymore
I've realized that the reason I never write anymore is because I became uncomfortable with talking about my emotions. In my last relationship, I was never allowed to share them without Austin distancing himself from me. It contributed to my fear of being even remotely vulnerable. Which, is fine, but it breaks my heart to realize that this is why I don't write anymore. it feels like a talent was stolen from me. A lot of things were stolen from me in that relationship. But it's in the past and now that I've finally realized why I can't seem to write (aside from academic shit), I can begin to fix it. I've been telling myself that if I want more from my relationship, I have to be willing to give more myself. Because, let's be honest. I hate feelings. I hate sharing my feelings. But I have to remember that if I allow myself to feel them and show them, I'll accomplish what it is I want. You give more, you get more. If only it were so simple. ...