Paper Ghost: Musings of a Restless Girl

So I have spent the last week in Alaska, and by golly, it's beautiful! It looks exactly like every picture you've ever seen but way more gorgeous in person. Alex and I have been discussing moving North once we're done with our current degrees and Alaska has been on our list, so it's definitely something we're going to look into. This state is HUGE.  I was blown away by the flight across Canada and just how vast it is. and same with Alaska.  I've been looking at different towns and cities and figuring out how far they are from my best friend (in Eagle River) and it's mind blowing!  It can look like an hour drive on a map but it's actually a two day excursion. there are a lot of people here but it's not like Hampton Roads (or anywhere I've been really) where everyone is crammed on top of each other. Just going to the grocery store is like going on a wild, gorgeous adventure (five minutes away). I'm looking into visiting the town of Ket...

everything feels off. aren't we supposed to go through the whole soul searching thing when we're like ..in our teens and early twenties?  I feel like I knew more about who I was back then than I do now. I feel like...I'm too serious. I don't know. it doesn't feel right.

Today is a day for self-care. I'm tired, physically and mentally. The last few days at work have been difficult.  My body is sore and my mind hurts.  I may just be being paranoid, but I don't feel entirely welcome yet at my new job.  I don't know if it's because we mostly work alone and there just isn't time for communication, if I'm disliked, or if I'm just not doing things they want to be done.  Or I'm just insecure. Our establishment is also being attacked by some crazed PETA-esque people over a dog that was aggressive and killed another companion animal.  I don't want to get into it because the comments of some of these people are horrendous.  It's difficult because as employees we can't say anything or respond to the comments and these people are so incredibly misinformed and spewing such hate. It's sad and they don't seem to realize that they are trying to sentence adoptable animals to death by trying to boycott us and dema...

So I graduated from ODU Friday, May 6th.  :) I still have a 4.0 gpa.  Woo.  For once in my life, I feel really proud of myself. I don't feel much different, really, but I'm enjoying the break.  My summer class starts the 16th and then I begin my Master of Arts in Applied Sociology this fall. I began working a new job for the City of Norfolk in April.  It's been pretty exciting but difficult.  I work at a shelter and sometimes it's heartbreaking.  It's very physically demanding but that part, I'm okay with.  It can also be very rewarding. We adopted a pooch!  I can't recall if I already posted it, but she's ridiculous and adorable.  She's also being treated for heartworms.  Yum. I've been working on my fitness some more, 'cause I'm a little over feeling like a sack of lard. Down three pounds so far!  I'm still going to work towards my goal of 120. I've been reading lots of books!  I've made it a go...

here we go: I am grateful for the city I live in. A fiance who makes me dinner and buys me books by my favorite authors, who takes care of me when I'm sick (and hungover), who will swear off restaurants and eating out for thirty days in support of my health journey, who loves me when I'm less than lovable I'm thankful for my fat, lazy cat and my fluffy, sassy rabbit. I am grateful that I'll be going to grad school in the fall. I'm grateful for my intelligence and ambition that got me there, my body which needs some tlc but can and will do powerful things. I am grateful for the opportunity to work in a shelter and make a difference for the city. I am grateful.

if you start doing it, you can start feeling better about it. end of story. I will eat more veggies, I will eat less junk. I will work out.

I have been accepted to ODU's M.A. Applied Sociology program and I have been chosen to receive an assistantship! I also quit my fucking job because jesus christ. Despite being unemployed with no income the last few days, I feel unbelievably relieved.  And I've gotten so much shit done!  I feel motivated about school again. I think I have a job lined up with the city of Norfolk too so that's pretty coooooool. I feel a lot better, as of late. Oh, bought a new car.