Paper Ghost: Musings of a Restless Girl

So I lost my other blog that I tried to start as part of my New Years resolution, lawl. Can't remember which email I started with and none of my logins are taking me to that blog. I can't even remember the name or url. Whoops. Oh well. So, I'm visiting my best friend in Alaska as an early graduation present to myself and it is as amazing as last time. Her pigs are adorbs. It's still a little chilly (like 50's) and brown but it's getting greener everyday! I'll have to post some pictures when I get a chance.

We went to Richmond a few weeks ago to visit the new Rest in Pieces shop.

I seem to turn to this thing whenever I'm feeling restless, which, let's be honest, is most of the time these days. I'm ready to get out of Norfolk. I'm so exhausted from school, I've been going for so, so long. like...ten years y'all, and that isn't counting public school. I want to take a semester off but I can't do that with the way the m.a. program is set up and the way in which classes are offered.  I'd have to take the whole year.  And I only have that year left, so..probably not the best thing to do. I'm just tired. I also had the realization last night (while lying in bed, trying to sleep, because we all know that's when anxiety likes to attack right? ha) that once I AM done next spring, that means no more financial aid to help me pay bills and rent, and that means...I have to find a job that will pay them.  I also will have to start paying off my student loans.  The amount of those is an unholy one, and it makes me sick to th...

So I'm getting ready to start a new job at Lush, part-time (anywhere from 5-19 hours which is perfect for grad school).  I'm excited but also anxious (when am I not?).  Since I started grad school and became a t.a., I feel like I've gone deeper into my shell and it's become even harder for me to talk to people and make friends.  My social anxiety is at a high.  At Lush, I'm basically going to be required to be all up in everyone's faces and putting product on them, so, I'm hoping this will help my confidence and allow me to get back to the person I used to be as far as at least thinking I was okay at talking.  And, I'm hoping it will help me make more female friends because there will be more possibility for us to have similar interests and beliefs, etc. I finally bought a class pass for the House of Muay Thai.  I cannot put into words how addicting that shit is.  It's so hard when you're not used to that level of fitness but it's also a lo...

It's a new year, isn't it? The U.S. inaugurated a new president just a few days ago, but we're not going to talk about that assbag (fuck trump). Instead let's talk about better things. I am in my second semester of grad school! I shocked myself by getting a 4.0 my first semester, not quite sure how I managed it, honestly. I am signing up for an independent study over the summer that focuses on Native American women and sexual assault/domestic violence and I believe I am going to begin coursework for the master's certificate in women's studies in the fall.  Lots of big things coming up! Alex and I have been through some rough shit the last few months. Long story short, his sister is a spoiled brat (this is nothing new) and I'm just over it.  We had some words and I'll be happy if I never speak to her again. The rest of his family I could take or leave right now. I'm just kind of over the drama. We are seriously considering (read: pretty much...

So I have spent the last week in Alaska, and by golly, it's beautiful! It looks exactly like every picture you've ever seen but way more gorgeous in person. Alex and I have been discussing moving North once we're done with our current degrees and Alaska has been on our list, so it's definitely something we're going to look into. This state is HUGE.  I was blown away by the flight across Canada and just how vast it is. and same with Alaska.  I've been looking at different towns and cities and figuring out how far they are from my best friend (in Eagle River) and it's mind blowing!  It can look like an hour drive on a map but it's actually a two day excursion. there are a lot of people here but it's not like Hampton Roads (or anywhere I've been really) where everyone is crammed on top of each other. Just going to the grocery store is like going on a wild, gorgeous adventure (five minutes away). I'm looking into visiting the town of Ket...

everything feels off. aren't we supposed to go through the whole soul searching thing when we're like ..in our teens and early twenties?  I feel like I knew more about who I was back then than I do now. I feel like...I'm too serious. I don't know. it doesn't feel right.