Paper Ghost: Musings of a Restless Girl

 Saving for reference, as it's especially poignant right now  (source: https://visualmagic.info/portfolio/january-tarotscopes/) Witches and quantum physicists know that time is not linear. Our relationship with time is a complex one. We are both confined by   and   transcend time. All artists and magicians know that creativity allows us to collaborate with time, not lament it. What rituals, creative projects, and new years do is mark time: an agreed-upon line is drawn in the sand to step—or crawl—over. Depending on your own particular circumstance, this month could serve as a fresh beginning, or it could still be serving some issues from the past that need to get addressed. What we all have in common is that we all need 2020 to be over, and we all have our own set of lessons from this time to remember. While 2021 will still have much of the same struggles as the year before, the monster we know is easier to conquer than the one we don’t. This year, flexibility will b...

 This week has been incredibly anxiety-inducing. Of course, a minute to breathe with the election results, but as a white woman and one who considers myself to be an anti-racist ally, I reposted some stories from Black, Asian, and Indigenous activists and advocates simply reminding white people to not be complacent.  Someone I considered a friend, who I also work with, responded with "Jesus can we celebrate one damn day?" This was the first thing I woke up to Sunday morning before work.  Mind you, I consider social media to be a place where we can express our opinions and feelings without an invitation for others to come into our personal space and do the same unless we ask for it.  I do my best to not insert my opinion where it's not asked for on someone's social media and I expect others to respect my social media space the same way.  I also try not to speak to my friends in such a tone as this response conveyed.  Without rehashing it because I feel I've ...

 The weather is changing, but I have doubts that it will stay. With climate change, the earth is warming.  Hot temperature last longer into the autumn,  and leaves keep their chlorophyll shade until November. Gone seem to be the chilly, golden days of September.  But today, it is cool, and I am basking in this small promise of autumn. We are still enduring the covid-19 pandemic. I'm not sure how this will impact my favorite time and seasons, but I don't think we'll be seeing much of family this year.  I can't help but think of those who are aging and how terrible it must be to be quarantined, living your last year or two inside and away from loved ones. Of course, there are a lot of young people (and older, really) who are either pretending they don't believe in it, actually don't believe in it (I don't know how you can just not "believe in" a fucking disease but, you know), or just don't think it's a big enough deal to follow scientific ad...

the world is on fire. maybe it always has been and we're just noticing it. I think that's more likely. humans have always been horrible to each other. My body hurts, my brain hurts. Stiff, tight, sore, strained.  the heat is boiling my skin, and I dread the coming years.

I feel like I say this at the end of every year, but man, this year was rough. I am so exhausted from having worked 7 days a week for like, 9 months. I'm hoping this year will bring about some positive financial change.  While I love working at the SPCA, it's just not fruitful and I am literally killing myself working nonstop.  People need days off. Period. There is so much I want to manifest this year.  I know I constantly talk about wanting to get back into writing but it's just so damn hard.  I don't let myself feel much and after years of repressing it all, it's hard to get back into a place where I take care of myself and my feelings and really FEEL.  I don't know that I've ever really taken care of myself either, so in that aspect, I have to start from scratch. Of course I have money goals, health goals, but I really need to focus on my emotional goals.  I really need to get in and dig deep into what the hell I feel and be open to the idea of vuln...

I drew a tarot spread with no particular question or situation in mind, I just let the deck guide me. My result was shockingly appropriate. The deck I used was The Antique Anatomy, for reference. Page of Rods: Appearance as a situation: on the verge of great discovery about the inner self.  Enthusiasm and inspiration surrounding this journey.  I am in a position to ask myself who I want to be, and what can I do to get there? and, the card indicates I have the support to change.  Queen of Blades: As a situation:  "This card wants you to find the way without help from others"--use the time to be independent.  I am equipped with the skills and information I need and can set a plan into place without letting emotions get in the way. Eight of Coins:  This card provides the courage to pursue new prospects and "start a project in a field you are passionate about."  It serves as a reminder to be as dedicated as possible--learn as much as possible to pr...

" Perhaps you've spent a good portion of your life claiming that your word is bond. It mattered to you that people kept their word, and it mattered to you that you were perceived as someone who kept their word in turn. These kinds of verbal contracts and commitments were forms of intimacy. They allowed for a kind of emotional safety net when other forms of security seemed out of the picture. This past year has taught you a great deal about what intimacy is and what it is not. And, it'll come as no surprise to you that this month aims to further that theme with a heavy focus on — what else? — your vows. Most people have no idea the length and width of the vows you make them, but they are extensive, aren't they? You make a vow to your friends when they are in ill health. You make a vow that you will only buy eco-responsible creamer. You make a vow and, by goddess, you hate to break it. Scorpio, your word might be ironclad, but your spirit is water. Your spirit, despi...