Echoes

"Perhaps you've spent a good portion of your life claiming that your word is bond. It mattered to you that people kept their word, and it mattered to you that you were perceived as someone who kept their word in turn. These kinds of verbal contracts and commitments were forms of intimacy. They allowed for a kind of emotional safety net when other forms of security seemed out of the picture. This past year has taught you a great deal about what intimacy is and what it is not. And, it'll come as no surprise to you that this month aims to further that theme with a heavy focus on — what else? — your vows.

Most people have no idea the length and width of the vows you make them, but they are extensive, aren't they? You make a vow to your friends when they are in ill health. You make a vow that you will only buy eco-responsible creamer. You make a vow and, by goddess, you hate to break it. Scorpio, your word might be ironclad, but your spirit is water.

Your spirit, despite its tenacity, needs rest, and sometimes rest means taking yourself a little less seriously. Levity is not always readily available to you, dear Scorpio, but it might prove to be the remedy for some of your troubles this December. Sometimes laughing is a hair away from crying, so why not laugh when you feel stuck in the dark? Make a dark comedy out of it and get some popcorn so you can enjoy the whole thing. By the end of the month, the information you've been rooting for will come to you, and you will be relieved with understanding that vows are made to be broken. There are days when you will not be able to stay true to others and stay true to yourself simultaneously. You will have to choose, and I hope you choose yourself."

(Source)

A lot of my horoscopes over the last few weeks/months have been about change, about abandoning the past, and taking time for myself.

This is wholly appropriate considering I have worked myself to death and really struggled to figure out who I am now that I'm an adult.

I have struggled to feel like I want to return to that boisterous, sassy but open, funny person I used to be before I was broken in an abusive relationship.

But I was young.  People change.  I am yearning to open myself up more, to be open to being vulnerable, to know what it feels like to feel intimacy in my relationships again, in my friendships.  I don't remember what that feels like at all.

I don't want to return to who I was, but embrace who I can be now that I'm 31. 

Someone who knows how to laugh, is stuffed full of too many feelings and not afraid to show it. 

I have a lot of work to do.